You know the drill: A bunch of attractive teens decide to take a hedonistic weekend vacation to someone's friend's cousin's uncle's creepy old cabin on the lake. The festivities start to get underway, and right as the fun begins, one of them loses their head. There's a psychopathic killer on the loose, but the kids can't call the cops because - oh, no! - all the phones are dead. Mayhem ensues, a few more people die, et cetera, et cetera.
We have all seen this movie before - the same formula time and time again, just with a new title slapped onto it. Slasher flicks are, at this point, an American institution. But I can't help but think that, if unified communication platforms were as ubiquitous at run-down cabins in the woods as they are becoming in office environments, we would cut these movies' runtimes in half. I submit to you a few new ideas for horror movies that play out a little more realistically, with the addition of unified communications solutions.
Movie No. 1: The Cabin in the Cloud
We open on a secluded log cabin, miles away from civilization. Three A-list actors charge through the door, sweaty and panting: They have just seen their best friend murdered by the hands of a machete-wielding psycho. "What do we do?," says the brawny high school quarterback. "The radio says all the phone lines in the area are down!"
The glasses-wearing valedictorian smiles and says, "Oh, I just remembered this cabin has a cloud-based VoIP telephone system that is hooked up to the Wi-Fi. Give me a sec." The teenager calls the police, who Taser the killer and arrest him on the spot. Runtime: 10 minutes.
Movie No. 2: The Communications Ring
It's midnight. A pretty young blonde woman receives a phone call when she is in the shower. The call goes to voicemail, where a gravelly voice announces that, just by listening to this message, she has only seven days to live. Cue the ominous violin music.
Thankfully, the girl's phone is hooked up to her office's unified messaging service. The voicemail is converted into a text message and is sent directly to her smartphone. She steps out of the shower, reads the text and promptly deletes the voicemail. Runtime: 5 minutes.
Movie No. 3: Night of the Living Data
Setting: Rural America. Cars are abandoned on freeways and buildings are in shambles. The undead roam the countryside and cities, feasting on the flesh of the living.
One scruffy-looking band of survivors is on a last-ditch mission to save the world and find a cure for the horrifying disease affecting the masses. When at last they reach the laboratory that supposedly holds the secret to an antidote, they are disappointed to discover that the whole facility has been bombed-out and ransacked, and all data has been lost.
Good thing the laboratory had a cloud-based unified communications plan for disaster recovery. The cure is found on off-site backup storage and the world is saved. Runtime: 30 minutes.
To find out how unified communications can save you from probably less quixotic circumstances, be sure to contact a Fonality representative today.